by Jeanni Ritchie
Surely it was a man who decided menopause was a reason to celebrate. Or perhaps a society who decided we should throw a party for all of life’s milestones. Initially I rolled my eyes and scrolled on when I saw that October was World Menopause Month.
But I backed myself up just like the beep beep beep of a wide load truck in reverse. Maybe I could make it a little less painful. After all, having had five kids in five years caused me irreparable damage that led to early menopause. My old soul matches my worn body.
So I wrote a little tongue-in-cheek poem.
Before I share it, however, I want to point out the seriousness of the holiday. The International Menopause Society (IMS) and the World Health Organization (WHO) designate October as World Menopause Awareness Month to raise awareness and support options. One of the main goals of World Menopause Month is to break down the stigma and silence that have historically surrounded menopause.
Menopause
Each and every day when I open my eyes
A new body ache is my morning surprise
My voice cracks like Alfalfa’s when I now try to sing
“You’re so soft” is code for you’ve developed bat wings
I can’t remember the reason I came in this room
Within a minute I can go from joy to gloom
I’m freezing in this sweltering heat
What is this hair on the top of my feet?
I’m thinking of placing a snack or two
On the middle landing between floors one and two
No need for a membership at the local gym
Traversing these stairs is not done on a whim
I collapse into bed exhausted each night
And lie there awake until the morning light
I’m the child who falls asleep as nap time comes to an end
And if I laugh too much on game night I should be wearing Depends
Menopause is not for the faint of heart
But learning to love yourself is a work of art
So take your demure, we’ve got our grit
Menopausal women just don’t give a _____
Fill in the blank, we need not confer
Cause this G-rated me is who I prefer
I once was wild now I’m in bed by ten
Running after grandkids will about do me in
Menopause comes with wisdom galore
Except in figuring out how to get off of the floor!
Jeanni Ritchie is a contributing journalist from Central Louisiana. She can be reached at jeanniritchie54@gmail.com.
