By Ron Cook
I have often driven past the Air Force Academy just north of Colorado Springs, Colorado. Once in a while I will see a small plane with a tow cable on it pull up a glider into the air for an airborne propellerless ride. I have wondered what that might be like, but I’ve never had the chance to actually try, as if I would. The flight looks so effortless, so smooth and beautiful, but recently I had the chance to talk with a friend who’s had over 400 of these glider flights and I guess I would say that would make him an expert if he’s still alive. So one day we had this conversation about how that works, and it struck me how interestingly similar the experience of keeping a glider aloft is to keeping love alive in a relationship. I think there’s some fun parallels to look at, why don’t we take a peek?
The first thing is the takeoff. It must wobble for a moment and then, once it’s off the ground, there’s got to be a feeling of is this thing going to work? I know every time I have a ride in an actual jet airplane, I get this feeling of the floor dropping out from under me as the plane lifts off. I’ve noticed the same feeling in developing new relationships, whether they be friendships, or love interests. There’s this time in the first few minutes of the meeting between myself and the new friend or love interest, of uncertainty of what’s going on here, what’s this about, where is this thing going? So, yeah, there’s a parallel, and if it’s a love interest my stomach will definitely drop out of my feet pretty quickly, and my heart will beat a little faster from the potential involved with this encounter. Meeting a new friend can have the same experience, yet instantaneous input of Interest in this person develops right away.
So then the plane is aloft and the glider is being towed along by a retractable cable I imagine is released by the pilot in the glider with a hook or something. There’s got to be a moment of tension or confidence depending on how many flights you’ve successfully navigated. And so it goes with relationships. A friendship leaves each participant with that sense of, this was good, this was interesting, let’s do it again.
With a love interest it becomes, oh my gosh, oh my goodness, oh my gosh, oh my goodness, what’s going on here? I’ve been on this flight before. Where is this one going? We never know for certain on the 1st flight of a love interest what’s going on there. We either just have high hopes or starry eyes.
And so the captain of this glider-ship has informed me that once you’re in the air the fun is just beginning. The glider we’re using as an example in this story has a 50 to 1 ratio. Apparently that means for every 100 ft of altitude gained the glider can go 5000 ft on a calm day. So that means the motor of propulsion, the air currents, have to be continually sought in order to keep the ship afloat, or lifted in this case. The captain assures me that on a regular day that is completely possible. There are currents of unseen air and thermal lift all around us in the atmosphere. Yet, at all times the glider is in lift or sink mode. This is kind of like a relationship. At the beginning every word is important, every look is important, every gesture can either sink or Lyft the relationship. Are you looking at each other making eye contact, are you listening to what’s being said, are you watching what you say to make sure it’s appropriate for the situation and for the company you’re now in. Are you watching for nonverbal cues and even tone of voice cues? Are you sharing the conversation or are you only blabbering about yourself and your interests? So many opportunities for sinking or swimming, lifting or dropping in the altitude of the friendship or relationship.
And the expert glider, so my captain says, is continually aware of thermal lift under light clouds that are drawing up moisture, and thermal release under dark clouds that are releasing moisture paying special attention to avoid the dark ones and stay under the lights. The captain also points out the importance of watching the convergence of fronts coming together. And then there are cloud streets where the glider may carefully go between clouds and then also align itself with the direction the clouds are going so it’s not working against the upstream action. Sounds totally risky to me, but I imagine in relationships this is the early warning system of how the relationship is going. Does it seem to be an uplifting thermally-elevating relationship, or does it sink pretty quickly for one reason or another due to the lack of uplifting dynamics of the two involved, or the excellence of their conversations uplifting them from one new piece of information about each other to another. That might make for a nice long flight. And so another hint, given to us by the captain, is that you can’t depend on one source to keep your glider aloft. You have to be ready for surprises. Along the foothills of the Rockies and across the Rocky Mountain Range, there are what are known as up and down Waves. These drafts can carry you up a thousand feet in one minute, or drop you a thousand feet in one minute, depending on which side of the draft you’re on. There’s some scary stuff!
Have you ever been in a relationship where all of a sudden the bottom dropped out and down it crashed, or all of a sudden a gust of love-something or affectionate-recognition lifts you a thousand feet off the ground, metaphorically, in a moment of emotional exhilaration?
In fact, believe it or not, my Captain in charge of this factual information of this flight course, actually stayed aloft for SIX hours only landing, finally, to answer the call of nature. He actually went from Boulder, Colorado, to South Park, Colorado to Buena Vista back to Boulder then to the red rocks and then back to Boulder!! That is a long way as the crow flies!
And so it is with relationships they can keep aloft for a long time just taking breaks to refuel and then take off on their friendship wings, or wings of lifetime Love with the good air of friendship under those wings.
“Love & gliders are a fragile thing, yet they have the courage to take wing, and then come drifting home again.”
May all your flights in life be blessed with good thermal rising and safe landings, and may the love of your friendships and all your special loved ones endure the long beautiful flight of life and always know their way home.
By the way, our pilot, Dennis, and his lovely wife have maintained over six decades of flight and their love relationship. Isn’t that amazing; 6 hours 6 decades, got to love that…
The three lessons our Captain wants us to remember about flight and I want you to remember about relationships:
1. Flight and relationships are beautiful.
2. Both flights and relationships are the pursuit of excellence.
3. Every decision we make in flight and relationships has a consequence.
