By Jeanni Ritchie
“This is just between us,” my dad will say before quickly amending his command.
“Well, I now know that means it’s between me, you, and your sister cause y’all tell each other everything.” He rolls his eyes in mock disgust.
The truth is…he loves it! My sister and I have always had a rocky relationship, something that often happens in familial relationships when addiction is involved. Our relationship was a roller coaster when I was a teenager and those patterns were hard to break as we got older, even when I was clean and sober.
Once, after not hearing from her for over three months, I called.
“Hey, are you mad at me? I haven’t heard from you in awhile.” Our last conversation had been deep; I’d thought we would stay in touch.
“No, I thought we were fighting,” she’d said.
“What?!!” I’d shrieked. “No, we aren’t fighting. Last time we talked…” I relayed the last conversation we’d had.
“Oh, my bad. I can’t keep track,” she’d said.
Seriously?!! I couldn’t blame her though. We’d had such a tumultuous relationship that we refused to visit our parents at the same time. My dad had mailed us both a heartfelt and slightly chastising letter that snapped us out of our selfish selves one year. We presented our parents with a contract for Christmas, one we’d both signed declaring peace in their home even in the midst of war. It was dramatic and extra. We have no problem laying claim to both of those adjectives.
But, despite our frequent squabbles, there was always a truce in times of need. It didn’t matter what we were fighting about or who was right (it was usually me) if there is a crisis- especially if it involved our parents- we’d put everything aside.
The older we got, the less we fought but it wasn’t until my divorce that we connected again like we had as children. She became my best friend, that strong sisterly bond I’d always wanted finally manifesting.
She even bought me a birthday cruise last Christmas! A frequent cruiser herself, she knew it was my top bucket list item and had often asked me to join her. Unfortunately I didn’t have the freedom to go before now. Then I gained the freedom but lost the income!
It was the best gift ever! We set sail next month during my birthday week!
Dad keeps asking when we are gonna start fighting again. He hates being tag-teamed by us! I tell him, “Not til after the cruise!”
We laugh but know the real truth. This is a bond that took us forty years to rebuild. We are protecting it with everything we have this time. Not only do we need this for ourselves, our parents need it too.
Happy #NationalSistersDay, Sis! I love you!
National Sisters Day is celebrated on August 3.
Jeanni Ritchie moved back to Central Louisiana in 2023. She learned very quickly to chime in when her father introduced her in public as his daughter. “Not THAT daughter,” she’ll say…to knowing laughter!
